Thoughts and events from the Christmas season

Here's a little sample of what we've been up to the past few weeks.

This is our new house!!! Bryson has been working hard remodeling some of the interior.
View from kitchen of garage entry and family rm
View from family rm of kitchen and hallway to bedroomsHeather helping load the kiddos on our way to my family's ward Christmas party.

Me loading my handsome Hunter.

The three of us at the party. Bryson was working on our house so we were missing him.
Eleyna opening her first present on Dec. 23rd to celebrate the Prophet Joseph Smith's birthday.

Bryson helping Hunter open his gift. He got the Children's songbook on cd.
Eleyna playing with the wrapping paper afterwards. What a beautiful smile!

We are so excited about our new place and can't wait to move in--hopefully we'll be in shortly after New Year's. One thing I wanted to mention quickly is how grateful I have felt recently for all of the wonderful people who help me to take care of Hunter, but especially for his therapists from Kids on the Move. My physical and occupational therapists are amazing guys. They truly care about Hunter and all of the children they work with everyday. I know that the Savior has a special love for those precious spirits who struggle with imperfect bodies. I think He, along with me, cries tears of joy when He sees His other children working so hard to help improve the lives of little kids who cannot help themselves. I am so grateful to be able to associate with individuals on a regular basis who understand what it means to be a parent of a child with a disability--it helps me to not feel quite so alone.

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Brother and sister

Eleyna's blessing

We blessed Eleyna on Sunday, July 6, 2008. It was such a special day. I got teary eyed watching all of the men I love walk to the front of the chapel to bless my little girl: my husband, my dad, my Grandpa George, Tyler and Grandpa Rassmussen. What a wonderful bunch! The blessing Bryson gave her was beautiful. I had the opportunity to bear my testimony during the meeting and express how lucky I feel to be the mother of two. I am amazed at the faith the Lord has in me to give me such precious children to care for. He must think I have real potential. :-) It is strange to me that the world might think I am exchanging the best years of my life for drudgery as a stay-at-home mom. I'm not saying that I don't have hard days-I DO! But it is worth it. One of my young women came up to me after the meeting and told me she really needed to hear what I said in my testimony. That meant so much to me! Grandpa George bore his testimony too and said a few things about Hunter. The thing he said that stuck out to me the most was that most people come to earth to learn, but a few people come to teach-like Hunter. So true! It was a very sacred, beautiful meeting. I love my ward more than I can say! After sacrament we headed back to our house for food and visiting with the fam. My mom, Janeen and Leigh all helped me with the food so I didn't have any stress on the big day. Thank you so much girls!

Check-up at PCMC

On Monday we ventured up to Primary Children's for Hunter's check-up with the neurologist. Hunter's seizures have been pretty unstable lately so we wanted to discuss other treatment options in case we decide to make a change. Lamictal, Depakote and the Ketogenic diet were the three alternatives the neurologist raised as possibilities. A couple of families with disabled children have been visitors on our blog recently and I thought I would see if anyone has experience with the above treatments. We are hesitant to dive into anything new because nothing is guaranteed to deliver better results than the meds we are on right now. Though, the possibility that a different treatment might improve Hunter's quality of life is highly motivating. Since summer is such a healthy time for Hunter, we will probably make a change sooner rather than later.

Hunter working out with Tiff (his PT)

Just kickin' it...

Eleyna's birth story

Bryson always teases me about how the minute you get a group of women together they start sharing their birth stories. This post is in direct support of that claim, but I'm going ahead with it anyway. Before I even got pregnant with Eleyna I was thinking about trying natural childbirth with my next baby. Overall, I had a good birth experience with Hunter. However, there were enough things that bothered me about the event to motivate a change.

So, for my prenatal care, Bry and I decided we would try a midwife instead of a doctor. Halfway into my pregnancy we realized that some midwives are just as medicalized as doctors. We found a midwife practice that was more in line with what we wanted and switched. About three and a half months before my due date we started attending Bradley classes. The Bradley method (also known as husband-coached childbirth) is a natural birth method that teaches with adequate preparation and education, along with help from a loving, sympathetic coach, most women can give birth naturally-without drugs or surgery. Bryson was very supportive of my desire to deliver naturally. He did quite a bit of reading on the subject and attended all 12 Bradley classes with me, without complaint.

Finally, it came time to put everything we had learned into practice. After a lot of pre-labor during the four days leading up to the real thing, I woke up around 5:30 AM on Thursday and knew that I was in active labor. I woke Bryson up a little while later and we started getting things together to go to the hospital. We were both worried about getting Hunter his morning meds and decided to labor at the house for a while so we could administer them as close to the normal time as possible. This proved to be a mistake.

Bryson was making some phone calls when my contractions really picked up. I was trying very hard to implement all of the relaxation I had learned in our Bradley classes, but I was missing "the coach." The laboring position that provided the most relief was sitting on the toilet. However, things were accelerating at a crazy rate and soon there was no relief to be found. By the time Bry and I were ready to leave I was in transition. (I didn't know that at the time.) Getting downstairs to the car about killed me.

Bryson was sweet to me even though he was now enemy #1. He kept trying to help me relax, even though he was getting yelled at in response. When we walked into the hospital the woman at registration immediately asked us if we needed a wheelchair. (I'm sure my face said it all!) Even though anyone could see I was in hard labor they still made me go to an observation room initially instead of a delivery room. Once I was on the bed the nurse checked me and told us-to our surprise-that I was fully dilated. The midwife was 20 minutes away but we decided to start pushing with the available doctor (Dr. Allen).

Pushing is supposedly the part of labor a lot of women enjoy. For me it was simply very, very painful. It took me a couple of pushes to figure out what I was doing and really move the baby down. During the pushing, Bryson was supporting my right leg. At one point, it felt like he was pushing on my leg instead of helping hold it up. I jerked it away from him and whacked the doctor right in the face with my foot. I think doctors prefer delivering women with epidurals because they prevent things like that from happening.

I definitely felt the ring of fire when the head crowned. Once the baby was out the relief was intense and wonderful. I started crying immediately. The next couple of minutes are kind of a blur to me. Eleyna had the cord wrapped around her neck twice so I didn't get to hold her right away. (She was perfectly fine, but they wanted to make sure.) Our doula, Kirsten, spoke up after a couple of minutes and asked if I could nurse the baby. It felt amazing to hold her in my arms. She was so beautiful. After spending about an hour together, Bry and Eleyna went to the nursery for her bath. Kirsten stayed with me. She gave me a massage and got me something to eat. It was nice to have someone there to take care of me.

When Bryson and the baby got back from the nursery our family had arrived. The entire experience was complete once Hunter was there. I can't describe how it felt to have our little family together for the first time. It was so special!

My recovery has been really easy and Eleyna is doing great. I'm really proud that I was able to give birth like I wanted. In retrospect, if we hadn't done things naturally, we probably would have ended up at the hospital much sooner and possibly needed some kind of medical intervention depending on if the epidural had slowed down my labor. (Eleyna's heartbeat was a little distressed during the pushing which could have been a problem if she hadn't been born so fast.) I'm so grateful to all of the family members who have helped out since Eleyna's birth; in particular, my mom and Janeen. My mom came every day the week after Eleyna was born to help with the kids. I'm so lucky to have her! My mother-in-law stayed with Hunter while we were at the hospital and brought us some meals once we were home. She is always so willing to help out in any way she can.

I don't get much sleep at night lately, but life is very sweet right now. Of course, I would be a complete mess without my best friend-Bryson is my rock, as always. It melts my heart to hear him call Eleyna, "sweetie." He is such a gentle man. I couldn't ask for a better father for Hunter.

I hope you are all ready for some more pictures because we've taken a million! Here are some of the latest.

New baby!

Eleyna Julia Bennett was born on May 29, 2008, at 8:30 AM. We got to American Fork Hospital around eight and she was born almost immediately afterwards. She weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 19 inches long. She has lots of dark hair which was a surprise! We are so thrilled to be parents again! More to come later...

BIAU 5K Weekend

We had a fun weekend! To kick things off, we woke up very, very early Saturday morning to drive to Salt Lake and run/walk in the annual BIAU (Brian Injury Association of Utah) 5K at Liberty Park. We wanted to participate to support our little buddy Charlie Christensen. We first heard about Charlie on the news the end of April. He is a one year old that contracted pneumoccocal meningitis last winter and spent the next four months at Primary's fighting for his life. He finally left the hospital on May 1st. I don't know how to explain this, but I feel a real affinity now with families that are called upon to endure a child suffering from a physical condition. My heart was instantly touched when I heard Charlie's story. The more I read about the Christensens, the more impressed I was by their optimism and long suffering.

When I heard that they wanted people who supported Charlie to participate in the BIAU race we were all over it. I'm proud to say that Bry and Hunter jogged/walked the entire 3 miles. Me and Grandma Janeen probably logged 2.5 miles (walking very slowly) since we took a short cut after a much needed bathroom break. My thanks to Janeen for being my walking buddy and my cousin Andee to showing up and supporting the cause! The highlight of the race was meeting Charlie and some of his family. It was neat to see both amazing little boys side by side. If you'd like to read more about Charlie, check out his blog: http://www.charliecooperjackjack.blogspot.com/.

Hunter and Charlie
On Sunday we had the traditional Sunday birthday dinner for Bryson at Janeen's. She made lasagne and a yellow cake with chocolate frosting at Bry's request. It was delicious. We managed to squeeze in family nap time both afternoons...life doesn't get much better than that!

Spring Break in Las Vegas

Hunter's favorite thing to do on vacation-SWIM!


We stayed right on the Strip. This is the view from the roof of our hotel.

Bry and I in front of the Bellagio. We went to "O" with my parents. It was incredible!

Celebrating Hunter's 2nd birthday early at Grandpa Brad's.

Reflections

I don't know if the pregnancy hormones are just catching up to me, but lately I have been feeling very nostalgic. So much has happened in our family since Hunter's birth nearly two years ago. I don't quite know how to describe the journey I've been on since we found out about Hunter's brain malformation and its effects. It feels like I've grown as much in two years as I did the entire 22 years of my life prior to that combined.

At first, every day was a test of my endurance. Dealing with people outside of Bryson and my family was more than I could stand. I was sick to death of everyone's pity and trite consolations. I found myself on the back row of Relief Society grinding my teeth at the rote answers people would give on how to deal with trials in our lives. I think I thought I was okay because I used that line so often in response to the dreaded "How are you doing?" question (with sympathetic head tilt). Going through the motions of living the gospel was all I could manage. Looking back, I'm so grateful that we kept doing what we were supposed to. In the doing, you get the feeling, and finally, I got the feeling back. I can't pinpoint the exact day, but all at once it felt like the sun was finally shining again in my soul.

I remembered how to smile-for real. I actually felt happy again. Most importantly, I was finally able to see that the Savior had been with us through it all. I felt honored that Heavenly Father apparently had enough faith in us as parents to send us a perfect son. I started looking around when we visited Primary Children's and offering prayers of gratitude that Hunter had come to our family; to a mother AND a father who had the means-emotionally, financially, and so forth-to care for a child with a disability.

The plan of salvation is more real and relevent than ever before. My testimony is strong. I still have hard days when something completely unexpected reduces me to tears. I don't stay sad though. To be worthy of eternal life drives me, because I want to spend forever with my little boy. I know that someday I will get to see my Hunter do everything he isn't capable of in this life. Until then, I can honestly say I find more joy in every day than I ever thought possible.

Hunter's birthday is still a few weeks away, but I want to share this video that I made in honor of the big event now. Enjoy!

“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.

“For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.” D&C 58:3-4

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Courage Reins

Hunter got to go to his first horseback riding session at Courage Reins today. It went really well. I think he enjoyed the experience, although he was very tired afterwards. The people who work there and who helped Hunter ride were great! We get to go every Friday morning for the next few months. I think it will be great for my little guy.

Sunday visit

Hunter and Grandpa Durrant

Sickness and stress

Hunter was really sick for about 10 days the first of this month. He is finally really improving, although the cough is hanging on. He had a temperature in the 100's for four days in a row and gave Bry and I a good scare. We gathered quite the collection of equipment from the home healthcare people during his illness, including the nebulizer featured in the picture of Hunter and Dad and the fish mask. Now I am fighting back a sore throat and head cold. It is a vicious cycle. I am ready for summer!

Physical therapy

This is a picture of Hunter with his physical therapist, Tiffany. That (cute) mad expression on Hunter's face says exactly how he feels about physical therapy. Right now Hunter is working on head control, sitting, and rolling. Mom is a slacker so Hunter was still in his pjs when Tiff arrived this morning. (At least they were his cool robot pajamas!)

Vision therapy

Hunter gets visits from his occupational therapist, physical therapist and vision therapist every month. Jamie, his vision therapist, comes nearly every week. A few of the things they work on together include tracking objects, opening and using his fingers to explore different textures, and lifting his head to see toys. In this picture, she was having him track his fish from side to side in a sitting position. He is sitting in the new chair KOTM (Kids on the Move) brought us this week. Hunter and Mom spend a lot of time attending his therapy appointments and practicing exercises on our own. Hunter works very hard and we are very proud him!